I wanted to give you a little bit of our background...Infertility has been something we have struggled with ever since we started trying for our first baby in 2008. It took us a good 3 and 1/2 years to get pregnant with our big guy. During those 3 1/2 years we took clomid, had a laparoscopy, tried two rounds of IUI and still had no success. In the fall of 2011 we had decided to take a break on the baby road and I decided to go back to college. I started classes the second week of January and by the fourth week of January I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We were SHOCKED! We hadn't been on any sort of fertility treatment at the time we conceived. I guess we just needed to quit thinking about it and it worked. An answer to our many prayers! My OB had mentioned that a woman is very fertile right after giving birth and so we decided to not do any kind of contraception and if we got pregnant right away we would be OK with that. Here we are 3 1/2 years later and still no pregnancy. I thought after having just one baby I would be OK if we didn't have any more, but that has not been the case. Our desire for a baby is just as strong, if not stronger now than it was before baby #1. He has brought us so much joy and happiness and we want even more of that. We also really want him to grow up with a brother or sister. Both Jordan and I have siblings and they are our best friends and we want him to have the same.
In the past couple of years we have tried:
-More fertility meds (Femara, Metformin)
-In March of 2015 I had a hysterosalpingogram, which is an important test of female fertility potential. The HSG test is a radiology procedure usually done in the radiology department of a hospital or outpatient radiology facility.
- Radiographic contrast (dye) is injected into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix
- The uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open, dye fills the tubes and spills into the abdominal cavity
-In October of 2015 we did another round of IUI which was unsuccessful.
We were planning on doing a second round of IUI right away, but once we saw that our insurance wasn't covering much we felt like we shouldn't. We decided with the holiday season upon us we wanted to take a break once again from the baby stuff and enjoy our time with family and friends and not have the stress of trying to conceive.
Jordan and I have always been very open with one another about our feelings and desires for this journey and we have discussed more IUI rounds, adoption, and IVF. We have prayed and attended the Temple while making these decisions. For some time we thought maybe adoption would be our next choice but for some reason I kept getting a feeling that wasn't right. I love adoption and think it is one of the greatest things in the world but for some reason I kept going back to IVF. What has always held me back from all of these procedures is the financial burden that comes with it. This last round of IUI cost us almost $2,000 which some people were shocked to hear. When we did the two rounds of IUI in 2011 it only cost us about $450 each round, but this time I chose to do monitoring through ultrasound before the procedure which is where the additional money was spent. I had 3 different ultrasounds and each cost around $360 and then add in the medication I was taking and additional office visits it all adds up quick!
After lots of prayers and discussions together we have decided to try IVF. We didn't want to spend another $2,000 or more when we have done IUI 3 times now with no success. We want to put our money towards something that has a higher success rate. This decision was a tough one and it took time to finally say that's what we wanted to do. Once we finally said out loud this was the road we wanted to take I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders which I take as the Spirit telling me we have made the right decision. It took me a long time to even consider IVF because we were able to conceive on our own before but that doesn't mean it will happen again. We feel like we have tried all we can up to this point and IVF just makes sense.
Infertility is such an emotional roller coaster and also a physical roller coaster. When you are taking different medications to tell your body to do something it's not, it starts to wear on you. It has been a test for our marriage as well. Like I said, we have always been very open with one another which is what has helped us stay strong. I think this has been the hardest for me emotionally. Any time I hear a pregnancy announcement I feel like a knife has been stabbed in my heart, but only for a small moment and then it disappears and I feel happiness for that joyous announcement. I think it's OK and normal to have that type of response...It only becomes an issue if you can't get past that response. It can easily turn to depression. I have been lucky enough to not get to that point but I know there are others out there who have. What has helped me is reading other's experiences. They are complete strangers but once I read their story and realize we are experiencing the same thing, it really helps me. I hope that by us sharing our journey we can help someone too. Even if you don't have issues with infertility I think it is important to know the process so you may be able to understand what those who do struggle with it are going through. It's always hard to know what to say to someone with any kind of trial if you yourself haven't experienced it. I wasn't going to tell anyone we were going to do IVF but as I continued to think about it I realized that I need the support of family and friends to get through this. We have been so blessed with an incredible support system and we are grateful for each of you!
We are scheduled to go meet with our new doctor this Wednesday (January 6, 2016) to discuss our options. We have chosen to go to The Reproductive Care Center. They have a 100% guarantee program we will discuss with them and see if we can qualify for. We will also meet with the financial advisor that day to see what options they have as far as a loan. After all the office visits, ultrasounds, meds, and procedures we could get up to more than $20,000 in bills. We obviously don't have that kind of money hanging around and so hopefully we will be able to figure out how to make it all work. I will post after we meet with them to share what information we received and if we have chosen to move forward. I am feeling a lot of anxiety right now and I hope after meeting with our doctor that will slightly go away. I am a very anxious person and stress about everything so I know there will be a lot of stress and anxiety throughout this process, but I am hoping some of it will go away.
We live such a wonderful life and have been so blessed by our Heavenly Father and we are putting our faith and trust in Him. Today during sacrament meeting a lady bore her testimony and she mentioned that Satan knows our weaknesses and he will work at those to try to take away our happiness but we need to remember that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ also know our weaknesses and if we just get on our knees and ask for the strength and courage They will never leave our side! I am going to try to take all of this one day at a time and not worry about tomorrow but only think about today. Thank you to everyone for all of the love, prayers, and support you have and will continue to give us. We love you! HERE WE GO!!!!
-Shawnee
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