Life went on as normal for the next two weeks. I tried to keep myself busy so I wasn't thinking about it too much (yeah right). On February 22 Aunt Flo made her visit again. I was upset as usual. I called Jordan to tell him and cried for a minute and then I had to get back to taking care of Carter. I called the doctor's office to let them know and she was very sweet to me. We scheduled for me to come in the next day for a baseline ultrasound. They always want to make sure that there are no cysts in the ovaries from all the medication before starting a new round.
Jordan and I went in on the 23rd and I am so glad Jordan was with me! Dr. Heiner did the ultrasound and there were no cysts and he let us know we were ready for another round. While we were there we talked to him about a few other concerns. Jordan had been given a prescription for belviq (medicine that is supposed to help with weight loss) and he wanted to see if this would effect his sperm at all. Dr. Heiner hadn't heard much about belviq before so he said he would go in his office to check it out and once I was dressed to go and meet him in there to go over what he was able to find. We went in his office and the conversation went A LOT different then what I had expected.
Dr. Heiner had pulled up our chart from the most recent IUI and he had some concerns. He said that he noticed that the morphology score of Jordan's sperm was low. It was at a 4% and normal is 14% or higher. He then called over to the lab who prepares the sperm for insemination and asked them to figure out what his fertility score was. It was not good news. We were given a fertility score of 9% out of 100%. Uh-Oh! That threw another wrench into this situation.
We were then told that IUI is not the route for us. IVF would give us the best shot at getting pregnant. We now realize what a miracle Carter really is. There may be a chance that over time the morphology has gotten worse and so maybe when we had Carter our score wasn't so low, but who knows. All I know is that Carter was meant to be our little boy and I am so grateful for that!
Dr. Heiner said there wasn't really anything that Jordan could do to improve this besides maybe trying to take a few different types of vitamins, but it wasn't real promising. We left the office with lots to think about. It's interesting how your feelings about something can completely change over time. At the beginning of this blog I talked about how we were originally going to see the doctor for IVF and that we felt like that what the right direction for us to go in. Well, the discussion we had in the car that day was much different!
Jordan expressed his honest feelings with me. He said that every time we have ever talked about IVF he gets the negative feeling and he feels like it isn't what we should be doing. He knew how much I wanted to be pregnant again and he wanted to support me in all of this, but now that it was so real he wouldn't be able to move forward with it until he told me how he was really feeling. When he told me this a feeling of peace fell over me and I knew in that moment that IVF was not for us. After talking to the doctor that day and finding out what it would entail I felt that physically and emotionally I personally wouldn't be able to handle IVF. It isn't a guarantee and I can't imagine having to go through that multiple times. At this point we were both drained of this whole process. Infertility is a crazy roller coaster!
We told our families what was going on and they were all so supportive as usual. We are so grateful for all of our blessings and we have so much to be thankful for. As big as this seems at times, this really is just a small bump that we have to get over, and I know we will!
